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Darby Strickland

Counselor, Speaker & Author

The Book

For years, biblical counselor Darby Strickland has served women in oppressive marriages. Now she writes to anyone who wants to help, regardless of their level of experience. You will learn how to identify the toxic entitlement that drives abusive behavior and to better understand its impact on victims—including children who are raised in a home with domestic abuse. Ultimately, you will become equipped to provide wise and Christ-centered counsel, empowering, and advocating for victims while navigating the complex dynamics of oppression in a marriage.

  • Reflection questions throughout chapters guide helpers as they process the material

  • Detailed inventory questions allow helpers to screen for different kinds of abuse—physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual, and financial

  • Case studies, exercises, and comprehensive worksheets, including a safety action plan, can be used to train helpers and assist victims

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"This resource and the wisdom it provides are integral to pastoral ministry—and indeed to the work of everyone who is ready to speak for the oppressed and cry out for justice. I cannot recommend it highly enough." --Rachael Denhollander, Speaker; Author; Victim Advocate

"A stunning work. . . . If you ever read a book about abuse in couples, let it be this one." --Alasdair Groves, Executive Director, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation

"The clearest and most complete work on understanding the dynamics and impact of abuse." --Chris Moles, Author, The Heart of Domestic Abuse

"Deftly equips counselors, pastors, and caring leaders to navigate through the difficult and often confusing narrative surrounding what's wrong and what to do." --Leslie Vernick Author, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

"An exemplary biblical counseling manual." --Curtis W. Solomon, Executive Director, The Biblical Counseling Coalition

"Gospel rich, well written, and chock-full of practical wisdom. Darby Strickland is a gift to the church." --Jason Meyer, Pastor for Preaching and Vision, Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis

"If you read this book before you need it, you will be grateful . . . and so will the person who is reaching out to you for guidance." --Brad Hambrick, General Editor, Becoming a Church That Cares Well for the Abuse



     I am a Faculty Member at CCEF. I work with individuals, families, and couples facing a variety of issues.  I received my Master of Divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary, where I met my husband, John. I teach Counseling Abusive Marriages for the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation and Counseling Complex Problems for Westminster Theological Seminary. I have written on Domestic Abuse and Trauma. Working with a team, I helped develop the curriculum Becoming a Church that Cares Well for the Abused, a free web-based training that provides best practices for pastors, ministries, and leaders who minister in the context of abuse.  My speaking and writing focus on training churches and counselors to care well for those who have been victims of trauma and abuse.

     One of my greatest joys has been homeschooling my three children. Our home is filled with music, read-aloud, good food, games, and tons of laughter. Like most people, my life often feels packed out, but I like to think it is filled with precious things. I enjoy traveling with my family to different cities where we take a particular interest in touring museums together.  I love any activity that involves water: swimming, beach days, kayaking, stand-up paddleboarding, watching a Longwood Gardens fountain show, or walking along a lake. Being by the water is sweetly refreshing for my soul.

If you are looking to get in touch with me, please contact CCEF. Thank you. 

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