A First Look at When Divorce Is Mercy
A First Look at When Divorce Is Mercy
For years, I have sat with people asking painful questions about marriage.
What does faithfulness require when destructive patterns persist? What does it mean to honor a marriage covenant when one spouse is repeatedly violating what that covenant was meant to protect? When is endurance faithful—and when might separation or even divorce be an act of wisdom and mercy?
These are not questions anyone wants to have to ask.
They are also not questions that should be answered quickly.
Over the past several years, Michael Gembola and I have been working on a book that seeks to help Christians think carefully, biblically, and compassionately about these difficult places. It is called When Divorce Is Mercy and comes out on October 7, 2026.
We love marriage. We believe marriage is a good gift from God and that reconciliation and restoration are beautiful things. But loving marriage also means taking seriously what destroys it.
When Divorce Is Mercy considers what Scripture says about faithfulness when a marriage is marked by adultery, persistent abandonment, betrayal, oppression, or other destructive patterns. We want to help sufferers and those walking alongside them slow down, name what is happening truthfully, discern whether genuine repentance and repair are taking place, and
I have a lot more to share with you in the coming months. For now, I wanted to give you a first glimpse of a project that has emerged from many years of listening to those who are hurting, studying Scripture, and collaborating with pastors, counselors, advocates, and church leaders on one of the toughest questions faced by Christians.
Would you please pray for us as we complete the edits and seek endorsements?
This is exactly the kind of resource I have been looking for the past 10 years as I've identified, confronted, worked hard to restore, and finally decided I needed to leave my abusive marriage of 40 years. I've read the sneak peak and can't wait to read the rest. The book is so compassionately written for all parties and seeks the best for everyone which I appreciate so much. I don't want either myself or others to hate on my ex spouse but have compassion for him as well as me. To see us both as people in need of God's mercy. Thank you for writing this book!